Our garden isn't very big, but people comment about how much produce comes out of its small square footage. Would you like to know one of my secrets? A friend advised us to work a bag of manure into the soil every spring. By now, most of the soil in the garden is decomposing manure. Manure is a rich growing medium.
Let's take this one step further. Do you have any areas of your life that are kind of poopy? You're not super happy about how things are going? Do you sometimes do things that make you feel like a sack of manure? Well, I've got good news for you! Manure is a rich growing medium. But it works best for growing after it has decomposed a little. Then it doesn't stink so much.
Late in April we did a little decomposing. There had been a lot of bickering and back-talk and very little parental patience for that behavior. Prayerfully our family took some time to identify the things we really value in life. What makes us feel alive? What do we love doing? If you try this, I recommend you do this prayerfully because God knows us better than we know ourselves (Psalm 139:1-4). Each person listed 10 things that were very important to them. Then we compared our lists. We identified five common values on everyone's list.
How did this help the bickering and impatience? It gave us a conversation starter. Since each individual identified what THEY VALUE, it wasn't was just the parents rules or values. So when someone criticizes his/her sibling, we can say "You value family. Is what you just said in line with your value system?" Or we can have conversations like this, "You value knowing God, but you consistently bring a novel and toy to church instead of your Bible. Tell me about that." Our children need to decide what they value and learn to live by their own moral code. They are growing up and must learn to listen to their consciences and the leading of the Holy Spirit. I won't always be there to create or enforce the rules.
This exercise has also helped me. The past few years have been very busy for me. My husband just finished his masters degree. While he was working on it, I worked full time and did the bulk of the parenting and housekeeping. During the school year, I rarely had any free time. Towards the end of his master's program, I found myself bored. The list of what I valued helped me to find things that I enjoy doing. I had forgotten some of my interests.
So if you're feeling kind of crappy, have hope. Manure is a rich growing medium. You're just ready for some personal growth!
